Serenity

Today, we live in a fast-paced world, a complex society with the radically changed human relationship in a different aspect of life. When everything seems out of our control, we tend to spend countless hours, and spend great amounts of energy trying to control and change people and circumstances that around us. Unfortuantely, this is not the right attitude in life.

"Have the serenity to accept the things that cannot change, the courage to change those we can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

A very powerful beautiful statement and very good principles to live our life by theologian Niebuhr, Reinhold (1892 - 1971).

Well, what does it means?

Firstly, the first part (have the serenity to accept the things that cannot change) means some things we cannot change and we have to accept it. Wandering what are the things that we cannot change and found this book thru googled - "The Five Things We Cannot Change" written by psychotherapist, David Richo.

There are certain facts of life that we cannot change - the unavoidable "givens" of human existence:

(1) everything changes and ends

(2) things do not always go according to plan
(3) life is not always fair
(4) pain is a part of life and
(5) people are not loving and loyal all the time

Because we are all powerless over these givens which is why we have no control to change over it. In the book, Richo suggests that we must embrace them with an "unconditional yes". He argues that by facing life's unchangeable facts head on, these givens become graces rather than curses, with health and happiness flowing from this. Personally, I do partly agreed with the writter as since we don't have the control over these givens then learning acceptance is especially important instead of blaming others or blaming the unfavorable condition for the problems. However, an "unconditional yes" to means characteristics (alcoholics, alanon, overeaters, gamblers, narcotics and probably several others) is unacceptable to myself as it can be difficult, painful and sorrow to deal in life.

The second part (the courage to change those we can) means the things that we can change, we have to have the courage to change them. In life, we cannot really change anything except ourselves. We need to be able to accept people for who they are and accept circumstances and outcomes how they happen. If we can't accept for people who they are, we have to have the courage to change ourselves rather keep continually trying and controlling what is obviously out of our power to change.

The third part (and the wisdom to know the differnce) means we have to know the difference of what we can or can not change (to know that we can only change ourselves). Don't dwell into unforgiveness, sadness, hate, anger and fear for circumstances and outcomes happened that we have no power over it but be exuberance and appreciate the enjoyments of life instead.

For everything there is a season, a time for every matter (purpose) under heaven.
A time to be born and a time to die
A time to plant and a time to pluck up what is planted
A time to kill and a time to heal
A time to break down and a time to build up
A time to weep and a time to laugh
A time to mourn and a time to dance
A time to throw away stones and a time to gather stones together
A time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing
A time to seek and a time to lose
A time to keep and a time to throw away
A time to tear and a time to sew
A time to keep silence and a time to speak
A time to love and a time to hate
A time for war and a time for peace.
(Ecclesiastes 3:1-8)

"Celebrate we will, because life is short but sweet for certain."

God bless!

TOBIRA WO AKEYOU (OPEN YOUR HEART) - Yukie Nishimura